A lot of people criticise the policy of privatising essential public services and breaking them up into their constituent parts – such as generation, distribution and retailing of electricity. They advance flimsy arguments about the higher cost of capital to private borrowers, the need for multiple layers of profit, shareholders’ demands for risk-weighted dividends, and the ease with which the gullible and the vulnerable can be ripped off. 

I say “Pah!” to these nay-sayers.  So electricity costs a little more… but look at the entertainment we now enjoy!  Once a year we’re notified that the price of electricity is about to increase hugely (most recently by 42% in our case).  That’s the whistle to start the game of Beat the Bastards.  This entails spending happy hours on the telephone – mostly on-hold but sometimes chatting to a fellow human – shopping around to find the best deal with another retailer; or being offered a better, under-the-counter, deal by one’s existing retailer.  Lazy or incompetent players lose many gaming tokens at this stage.

Fortunately there are coaches on the sidelines, calling out to us with virtual megaphones.  These are the call centres that compare rates, each paid by a group of retailers with a view to luring players away from their competitors.  They cold-call around whistle-blowing time, and in my experience do a pretty good job.  But the retailers don’t tell them about all the under-the-counter deals.  Of course.  That would spoil the fun.

Just as in Dig-Dug, if you do well in the game you’re promoted to a higher level.  In our case this meant getting a smart meter that allows a retailer to charge differential rates depending on the time of usage.  Peak time usage costs 2.2 times as much as shoulder usage, which is cheaper than off-peak. 

Intriguingly, peak time accounts for 14 out of the 24 hours in a day, so any heavy usage (by air-conditioners, washing machines, irons, electric ovens…) has to be restricted to the hours of 1am–6am or 10am–3pm.  It’s now 1140, so exactly 100 minutes ago I called out to Mrs SG that she could start the washing machine, and then the dishwasher.

I mentioned that the game is called Beat the Bastards.  I realise, however, that the game is won by the consumer who most efficiently adjusts his/her pattern of consumption to counter the imbalances between supply (especially solar-generated supply, which is abundant in Australia) and demand. 

So perhaps the game should be called “Follow the Pricing Signals that Minimise the Overall Cost of Energy to the Community as a Whole as Well as the Harmful Emissions Attributable to Burning Fossil Fuels.”  Not as catchy, but whatever it’s called the game has changed our lives for the better by giving us something to strive for.  It would be no exaggeration to say that we are driven to succeed in much the same way that Olympic athletes are.