As Jerry Seinfeld might have said, “What’s with all these teeny little button batteries? How come everything you buy that has a button battery, it’s a different size than the batteries in all the other things you’ve got? And they have these weird code numbers. Not just one either: they have aliases, like secret agents. ‘Come in, 377. Or should I call you… AG4?’” [Audience laughter.]

But seriously, it’s me, your ethical influencer who accepts not a penny from any manufacturer, distributor or advertiser of the products he tells you about. I know, I know, I said I was going to give up my career as an influencer and be a scriptwriter. Well, I finished my online scriptwriting course, scored 82% for my final assignment, and am now up to Scene 29 in the first part of a 3-part sci-fi TV drama. Meanwhile, I’m still doing a bit of influencing on the side. So what is it today? Button batteries!

I just received 72 (yes, 72) button batteries in 10 diferent sizes (with 18 different names) by mail order for A$10.17 including postage.  That’s equivalent to a fraction over US$0.09 per battery. I can’t vouch for their quality of course, but one has been in my watch for a week and it’s still going. Want to have some of the same? They came from Good House Keeping Australia Ltd, P.O.Box 291, Moorabbin VIC 3189 [Tel (03) 9532 3880].

While I have your attention, don’t forget to submit your nomination for the Stroppy Git Award for Meaningless Twaddle 2024.  Deadline 15 January, midday GMT.