Mrs SG and I have seen all the Bond films, and we really think ‘Spectre‘ may be the worst.  The song is certainly the worst – an instantly forgettable tune and unintelligible lyrics.  I couldn’t even make out the recurring line ‘The writing’s on the wall‘ until I saw the title on the screen.

I am not only disappointed, I am indignant and resentful.  James Bond is no longer private property, he is part of the global cultural heritage.  Therefore every film must conform to a certain template.  The makers of ‘Spectre’ have misunderstood this requirement.  They have simply mined the archives for a dozen old Bond film clichés and hung them on the flimsiest of plots, like damp sheets on a clothes line.

And in doing this they have managed to brush away almost all the self-mocking humour that we have known and loved for 50 years.  I say ‘almost all’ because there’s a nice bit in the inevitable overlong car chase where he tries to shoot the Maserati behind and finds that the gun’s not loaded.  Even the sex lacks the true Bond’s playfulness with sadistic undertones.

I say this having been telling people for years that Daniel Craig is the best Bond ever.  I don’t know whether to blame the script, the direction, the casting, over-anxious box-ticking, or Daniel’s Craig’s falling out of love with the part.  Something’s not right and I really, really hope it gets fixed before the next one.