It’s been too long between posts,  Sorry!  To make up for it, here’s a illustrated Christmas carol for you to sing with your family on 25 December (Gregorian calendar) or 7 January (Julian calendar) or, indeed, both.  Here it is:

Deck the trees with bird-proof netting,
Fa-la-la-la-la it’s Christmas time.
’Tis the season to be fretting,
Fa-la-la-la-la it’s Christmas time.
Avian manners are quite awful,
Fa-la-la, fa-la-la, la-la-la.
Here they’ll get no beak- or clawful,
Fa-la-la-la-laa, la-la-la-laaaa.

Hmm, that’s pretty meagre after such a hiatus.  Here’s another carol that I just sent to a British company that owes me fees for work done nine years ago…

God rest ye, merry Roughton men
Who owe me so much dough,
Glad tidings from my lawyer friend –
But probably you know:
An invoice more than six years old you legally can throw
In the bin.  Oh-oh ti-idings of joy,
Comfort and joy,
Oh-oh ti-idings of co-omfort and joy!
But I shall keep you on my list
And send you Christmas cheer,
In hope God will unclench his fist
And hand you a good year –
Then shall your coffers overflow, all dues and debts to clear.
Oh-oh tidings of co-omfort and joy,
Comfort and joy,
Oh-oh ti-idings of co-omfort and joy!

In the midst of all your wild rejoicing, please don’t forget to submit your nomination(s) for next year’s Stroppy Git Award for Meaningless Twaddle (aka The Stroppy).  I have a feeling this could be a bumper year!  My address: johnstandingford@hotmail.com